Sometimes nothing is ever what it seems, and I’ve talked about destiny before here, but sometimes when it comes down to it it’s just all about your own point of view and in the end, we always choose the one that that makes us happy, the one that reassures us that we’ve made the right decisions for ourselves.. or at least what *think* are right at that single moment of time. And what we hope will actually satisfy us in the end. In cases like this, I only hope that after all I’ve been through that it was honest-to-God worth it.

(But I’m not sure if I’ll ever feel that way.)

“Life is rarely about what happened; it’s mostly about what we think happened”-Chuck Klosterman

I read that line in the book I’ve been reading one morning a couple of weeks ago while I was on the train on my way into the city and it left me feeling like I’ve just been smacked in the head. I don’t know why, but it did. I suppose it’s because it’s had me feeling especially nostalgic and of course, reflective at the same time of what’s happened since I’ve last written here and reading that line seems to have summed it up in ways I couldn’t have in the last 6 months.

In relation to this feeling, I have to say it’s ironic to read the subject of my last entry here mostly because what I thought “ended” never really ended until months later and when it finally did, it was a much bigger downfall than I had anticipated at the time. And even if I have moved forward from it as much as I could push myself to, I know that I still will never get closure I want or need from it and until this day, I still don’t understand how or why things had to happen the way they did. Sometimes I think it’s because I will always be way too nice for my own good, sometimes I think it’s because I let people in too easily, and sometimes it may just be the combination of both leading to the fact that my expectations were too high for anyone to satisfy, even for someone who was supposed to be like family to me. But even that I question because with certain people, there always comes certain expectations regardless of who you are, and most of the time, they are justified. Sadly, whatever the case is.. I will blame myself more than anyone else even if people tell me that “anyone else” deserves the blame more than me. But rather than holding that to someone else, I’ve decided to accept it as it is and move on.

And so that’s exactly what I’m doing. I’ve had this blog for years, but I’ve decided in light of this past year’s events, it’s time for it to come to an end. If you know me, you could probably find me writing somewhere else, anywhere else but here. Otherwise, if you want to keep in touch, email me at heartsparks[at]gmail.com. Although /Bare has brought me both happy and sad times, you and I both know that sometimes it’s better to break, than to stay somewhere just because you’re comfortable, or even just because it’s been around for years.. right?

And I’ve known for years that we’d get here, And it’d be a shame to make believe… [but trust me,] it’s better to leave.*